‘Game Of Thrones’ recap: S6 Ep8, ‘No One’

Am I the only one who watches Game Of Thrones in a state of paranoia? I mean, my beloved Jon Snow was killed in Season 5, so it’s safe to say that … well, no one’s safe. With just two more episodes to go in Season 6, you know bombs will be dropped at the last minute so that we’ll have to endure another year of suffering before we can get some answers.

In the meantime, let’s discuss the twists and turns in “No One” that don’t leave us any the wiser than we were with “The Broken Man”…

Not “No One”…

One of our biggest concerns from the last episode was whether our spunky Arya would survive her stabbing. Walking through the market, clutching her wound and not knowing whom the Waif could be disguised as next, Arya made her way back to the only person she could trust - Lady Crane. Remember how it was Arya’s job to kill Lady Crane? Just because she decided not to didn’t mean that Lady Crane was going to make it out alive. After all, the Many-Faced God was promised her name, and we know that the Faceless Men take their job seriously.

So it didn’t really come as a surprise when Arya found Lady Crane impaled by the stool she had just climbed to reach Arya’s medicine. Her final scene did though! Arya finished off the Waif in the dark with Needle before adding her bloodied face to the Hall of Faces. When Jaqen announced that she was finally “No One,” Arya told him that she was “Arya Stark of Winterfell [and she was] going home.” Finally! Our girl is done with this pointless assassin training and will hopefully reunite with Jon, Sansa and Rickon. (Fingers crossed!)

 

A Man On A Mission …

Can’t a man just exact his revenge and then eat some chicken? Is that too much to ask? Because that’s all the Hound wants to do. At the end of “The Broken Man,” we saw him take an axe and head off to kill those from The Brotherhood Without Banners who had slaughtered the members of the community he had found a home with. With that in mind, he came upon four men sitting around a fire and hacked them to death. Who knows whether they were actually part of The Brotherhood or if they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way it was still satisfying to see the Hound back to his old self.

Speaking of which, a couple of blasts from the past returned – Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrion, one rocking the chic man bun, the other his trademark eyepatch – to hang the very people that the Hound was hunting. Since they had ruined The Brotherhood’s reputation by killing innocents, they would hang. Anyone else love the way the Hound whined like a spoiled brat when he couldn’t cut off their limbs one by one, but instead had to hang them? (Gotta love how bloodthirsty/ desensitized to the violence fans have become because of this show!)

Anyway, after sharing a meal (i.e. not chicken), Dondarrion and Thoros tried to recruit the Hound for The Brotherhood. It’d be interesting to see if he stays on with them especially after deciding to live a peaceful life before getting dragged back into the fight last episode. More importantly, fans of the books are probably wondering if show creators are going to follow George R.R. Martin’s Brotherhood storyline. (PLEASE SAY YOU WILL!)

 

My Bad …

Poor Tyrion. He tries to do what’s best for everyone, but it always ends up backfiring on him. First, we saw him and Varys strolling inside Meereen’s market, admiring how Tyrion’s truce with the Wise Masters caused the city to flourish. Then Meereen’s harbor was packed with ships bearing Harpy sails and hurling flaming debris into Meereen. (At first I thought that the Greyjoys and the Iron Fleet had made it in record time to help out. After all, they made it from the Iron Islands to Volantis in no time flat last episode. If only that were the case!)

Quite sobered up after an earlier drinking session, Missandei and Grey Worm lost no time telling Tyrion, “Told you so.” Just as Grey Worm was securing the pyramid’s perimeter, a noise shook the building, and Daenerys made her grand entrance on Drogon. She definitely didn’t look too happy with what was going on, so let’s hope that a) her khalasar is still intact; b) Tyrion will get to keep his head; and c) find out the secret mission Varys is undertaking.

 

Rumor Has It…

After waiting all this time for the especially hyped, “I choose violence” scene with Cersei and The Mountain, it was a bit of a disappointment that he only ripped one of the Sparrows apart with his bare hands. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed it thoroughly! But seriously dude, how can you be that stupid to take a shot at him thinking you’d win? You should have just swung the ax at your own head to save yourself the trouble.

Fast forward to a royal announcement that a) Cersei hadn’t been informed about and b) she had to listen to from the gallery with all of the other ladies at court because she wasn’t allowed to stand next to Tommen. Good thing, too, since she probably would have strangled him – I know I would have – after what was said. First, he announced the date of Loras’ and Cersei’s trials - some religious holiday no one cares about, but more importantly that at these trials, trial by combat was forbidden. Instead, Loras and Cersei would stand trial in front of seven septons. Meaning The Mountain wouldn’t get to squish someone’s head in like a grape again, and of course, that Cersei’s screwed. But that could all change because of whatever this rumor is that she and Qyburn discussed.

In the meantime, Tommen should pray a little more because The Mountain may just finish him off if he continues to piss off Cersei. We know Tommen’s days are already numbered thanks to the prophecy Cersei was given that all her children would die prematurely. Can’t say I’m not looking forward to that!

 

The war that never was…

The much anticipated standoff between the Lannisters/Freys and Tullys ended without bloodshed and other fanfare. Brienne and Podrick arrived at Riverrun to try to get the Blackfish to join Sansa and help her take back Winterfell. She and Jaime were FINALLY reunited and the chemistry was still there. (Good thing Tormund wasn’t around!)

But wow, has my home girl got GAME! While she was urging Jaime to put an end to the siege peacefully and not risk lives, Bronn chatted with Podrick. Bronn wondered if Brienne and Jaime were getting physical in the tent because Bronn sure would like to be with her and couldn’t understand why Podrick hadn’t and wouldn’t. (Gotta love Bronn’s sense of humor and straight shooting style!)

Brienne may have failed to get the Blackfish to come back North with her, but Jaime succeeded in bringing a peaceful end to the siege. He sent Edmure to the castle to regain command of it as the heir and surrender it to the Lannisters/Freys. The Blackfish saw through the trap at once, but not Edmure’s loyal men who were sworn to obey his commands – nice job guys! Rather than escape with Brienne and Podrick, the Blackfish said he wouldn’t run this time like he had at the Red Wedding. Instead, he would fight to the death, and that’s exactly what he did. As Jaime surveyed the scene from the top of the ramparts, he saw Brienne and Podrick rowing down the river, the two waving goodbye as they went their separate ways again. I know a lot of people don’t really like Jaime because of Cersei, but Brienne brings out Jaime’s noble side, the part of him who everybody writes off because of his past. It’s moments like these that show that Jaime has only ever tried to do what’s right.

 

What did you think of “No One”? And what about those previews for “Battle Of The Bastards”? What do you think is in store? We’d love to hear from you!