'The Crazy Ones' episode recap: 'Simon Roberts Was Here'

We open with Zach, Andrew and Lauren laughing that someone got Sydney a subscription to the magazine, Older Bride.

Meanwhile, Simon gets everyone lined up to tell them to be in their “best behavior” for a royal arrival. “Don’t get too close, don’t make eye contact and under no circumstances are you to stroke the princess,” Simon says. The elevator opens and it’s a cat! Simon then introduces Sydney to Judy Mills, of Regal Kitty Cat Foods. Simon promises Judy that Princess will be right at home at the office. Judy tells Simon that she can’t wait to hear their pitch on Wednesday. Judy then says she was delighted to hear that the agency is now focusing on “hard numbers and data.” Simon doesn’t’ know what she means and then mentions their hiring a “quant.” Then, the “quant,” a pleasant looking Indian gentleman introduces himself and Judy says that he’s the reason her company is there. Simon then hugs the “quant” while softly asking him who he is.

Sydney takes Simon and the “quant” into an office and introduces, Colin, the “quant” as their new Senior Quantitative Analyst. Sydney reminds Simon that they hired Colin after he and Gordon had a big fight and thinks he must have blocked it out. After Colin throws some sophisticated jargon at Simon, he’s sure he blocked it out while Sydney tells Simon that all the big firms are hiring guys like Colin and that he’s the best at what he does. Simon is skeptical but Sydney tells him that Colin is the reason Judy’s company is even considering using them and to give Colin a chance.

Princess is sitting with Sydney in her office when Lauren comes in and tells Sydney that Princess is a male cat. She asks Lauren to take Princess elsewhere. As she leaves with the cat, Sydney tells Lauren that she “isn’t much of a cat person.” Lauren feels bad and convinces Sydney to let Princess stay in her office.

Simon, Andrew and Zach brainstorm a pitch for Judy and Princess, but Colin shoots down all of their ideas and says that his numbers prove that humor doesn’t always sell products. Simon then proposes a bet. Both of them will come up with a print ad for ice. Andrew, Zach and Sydney will be the judges; the winner will give their pitch in front of the Regal Kitty Cat Foods. Colin and Simon shake on it.

We see both Simon and Colin working feverishly on a print ad for ice and their vastly different approaches to coming up with an idea. At the end, they stare each other down.

Lauren unveils both whiteboards with Simon and Colin’s ads for ice. Sydney, Andrew and Zach think they’re both great but don’t know whose is whose! The three of them go back and forth as to which ad is better. Then, Zach says Simon’s ad is better but points to Colin’s ad. Colin then throws his win in Simon’s face.

Sydney’s vents to Princess the cat about not wanting to wear a hideous purple bridesmaids’ gown to the wedding of one of her friends. She then remembers she has to go to the Maytag meeting and almost forgets the file. Then, she thinks the cat reminded her to take the file. She then goes for her lip gloss but Princess takes it. “Less is more, you’re right,” Sydney tells Princess.

Zach tells Andrew the next day that he hopes Simon isn’t mad over his losing the bet. Then, Simon comes over and gives Zach, Andrew, Sydney and even himself their own number. Zach asks Simon if he’s okay and he replies that he’s just embracing the quantitative state. Andrew then points out that the light bulb over the mural of Simon in the office has been replaced by a line graph. “Numbers are the wave of the future and creativity is on its way out,” Simon replies. Zach then whispers to Andrew that he isn’t sure he likes “Numbers Simon.” Sydney even sees Simon is going a little berserk and tells him that she just wanted him “to be open to what Colin had to say,” but Simon insists that Colin’s ad was clearly better than his. Simon then tells them that Colin built a profile on the three of them based on their web histories so he’d know their tastes. Sydney can’t fathom how Colin used that info to trick them into picking his ad so Simon shows Andrew, Zach and Sydney how he did it. in his explanation it comes out that when Sydney was drunk she herself subscribed to Older Bride but didn’t remember.

Sydney then gets mad and goes to Colin, who tells her that his data shows she’ll die alone if she continues on her workaholic path but Colin does tell Sydney that she “can affect change” and says she should give up her idea of owning a cat, which she denies having until Colin points out her fanny pack full of cat treats.

Colin then pitches to Simon, Andrew and Zach a “100% computer generated” presentation for Regal Kitty Cat Foods. It merely shows a repetitive shot of a hand opening a can of the cat food and mentioning the easy-to-open lid. Colin thinks it’s great and Simon makes like he agrees telling him that it will sell a lot of cat food but overjoyed inside because it’s awful!

Simon then goes into his office and starts playing the bagpipes, much to everyone’s audible horror.

After hours at the agency, Princess looks sad as Sydney throws away her fanny pack full of cat treats. Princess watches Sydney try on the hideous purple bridesmaids’ gown. Sydney eats Chinese takeout while Princess eats from her bowl. Meanwhile, the security guards watch Sydney and Princess and say that Sydney is “dating the cat” and they laugh.

Simon is walking the streets and sees that he’s looking at an old billboard ad he designed. He tells a cop that he designed the billboard and then the cop arrests Simon.

The next day, Lauren brings Sydney coffee to “brighten up your day since it’s Mr. Princess’ last day and all.” Sydney insists that she’ll be fine when the cat is gone. Lauren then tells Sydney that the security guards sent her the footage from after hours at the agency.

Colin pitches his horrible computer generated ad to the Regal Kitty Cat Foods execs. They are speechless because it’s so bad. Judy then asks Zach and Andrew where Simon is. They say that something came up. Then, Simon storms in, says he was in jail but was innocent. Simon then brings in his cell mate, Anastasia, who happens to also be a “gifted graphic artist” according to Simon. “I have degrees from two art schools,” she tells the execs. “And only one felony conviction,” Simon adds. Judy then asks where he’s going with the pitch. Simon then says that Anastasia showed him that by combining “research and creativity, you get something special.” He then cues Lauren to start the presentation. He notes the easy-to-open lid; through storyboards they show they “can” open Regal Kitty Cat Foods easily but “can’t” with the other brands. In the background is can-can music. Then, Andrew, Zach and Anastasia start doing the can-can dance in front of the Judy and the other execs. Simon then pushes Colin to join them and he reluctantly does. Judy and the other execs love it!

An electrician gets rid of the line graph and puts back the light bulb on the mural above Simon’s head at the agency. Judy tells Simon that she can’t wait to see the finished commercial and she and Princess prepare to leave. Sydney gives Princess in his holder back to Judy, who notes how Sydney fell in love with the cat. Sydney says goodbye to Princess, who also looks sad. Simon knows Sydney wanted to keep Princess, but Sydney reminds Simon that the data showed that her owning a cat “was my first step to dying alone and unloved.” Simon thinks she can beat the odds and tells Sydney to “go get your furball.” So, Sydney runs to stop Judy before she leaves with Princess.

Sydney takes Princess home and meets her new neighbor, Dylan, who happens to be a veterinarian. She introduces herself and Mr. Princess.