'The Crazy Ones' episode recap: 'Sixteen Inch Softball'

We open on Zach throwing Lauren a large softball and because she catches it, she's on the agency's softball team. Zach tells Lauren about the agency's "Sixteen Inch Softball" team, which is basically just softball with a bigger ball with the "Accounts" against the "Creatives." When Simon comes in, Lauren asks him if he's playing. Simon replies that he's "retired." Andrew then says that, "The last time Simon played was 10 years ago when he single-handedly won the game for the 'Creatives.'" Simon then says they need to work.on the Rice Krispies campaign. But, suddenly, Simon starts describing how he won that fateful game. He describes how Gordon was glaring at him as he stepped up to the plate. Andrew, Sydney, Simon and Zach then re-enact Gordon's "fateful pitch" to Simon and how he hit it out of the park to win the game. Then, Gordon appears and says, "The fun's over."

Andrew and Zach are brainstorming about the Rice Krispies ad. Then, Lauren comes in to warn everyone that Gordon was bringing in "baked goods." Everyone scatters as he approaches. He doesn't understand the "big deal over Rosemary shortbread cookies my husband made." Zach then explains to Gordon that when everyone sees him with baked goods, they think he's going to fire someone. Gordon then whispers to Zach that he's right.

Simon asks Gordon how they lost the Pocket Motorcycle account. Gordon says they didn't lose them, the agency dumped them over an incident involving some "fat kids." Sydney apologizes for the account being lost since it meant so much to Simon.

Gordon then says that when they lose an account, they have to lay someone off and he wants to fire someone from the "Creatives." Sydney doesn't understand why they can't fire someone from "Accounts." Gordon says it's the "Creatives" turn to lose someone but Simon refuses. They are at an impasse so Simon and Gordon both propose a softball match to decide which team has to fire someone. Both Gordon and Simon say their team will slaughter the other.

Sydney tells Andrew that she doesn't want to fire anybody. Andrew's girlfriend, Nancy calls and Sydney tells him to say to her but he doesn't. She asks him why he didn't and he says that Nancy hates Sydney because he told her about their kiss. Sydney doesn't understand since Andrew initiated it but he says he didn't tell Nancy that.

Simon and Zach try to come up with a strategy to win the softball game. They go over the lineup but see that people have crossed their name off because they're afraid of losing their job. Zach suggests that Simon sign up to play to boost hope and morale for others to play. Simon is reluctant. Zach then throws him the ball but Simon seems afraid of it. Simon then admits to Zach that he can't play softball. Zach brings up Simon's big win and then Simon tells him the story of major league player Doc Ellis, who pitched a no-hitter and later admitted that he did it while he was high on acid. Simon admits that he did the same thing and hasn't played since. Zach still thinks the "Creatives" can win.

Sydney catches Andrew and Nancy as they're leaving to go to lunch. She joins them, much to Nancy's dismay. Sydney gives her a gift certificate for a couples' massage but Nancy questions Sydney's motives.

Simon gives a pep talk to the "Creatives" to get more to sign up for the game but Sydney mistakenly thinks that Simon has agreed to play, which makes everyone else start chanting his name even though Simon keeps screaming, "No!"

Zach is coaching Simon at the agency after everyone has gone home. He tells him that he can do the same thing he did while on acid, they just need to remind Simon's body how, but Simon is incredibly uncoordinated. Simon is feeling the pressure to be good so they win so somebody from the "Creatives" doesn't get fired. Zach then tells Simon that as long as "Accounts" thinks they're playing against the "legendary" Simon, they have the edge.

On the softball field, Gordon tells Simon that his team has waited 10 years to crush the "Creatives." Sydney's pep talk to the team is interrupted when Nancy shows up. Sydney starts complementing her but Andrew stops her. Then, the game starts.

Gordon pitches to Andrew, who hits a homer. Zach flirts with s female "Accounts" base person and they get another run making it "Creatives" - 2, "Accounts" - 0. Then, it's Simon's turn up to bat. Zach plays up his "legend" status to psych out "Accounts." Each time Simon comes up to bat, Gordon walks him, which was his and Zach's plan all along.

Now, the score is "Accounts" - 9, "Creatives" - 8. Sydney goads Gordon into actually pitching to Simon, who immediately calls a time-out. He calls Zach over and tells him that he doesn't want to give up his "legend" status. Zach tells Simon to try his best and that whatever happens, he still looks up to him. Simon then injures himself and Gordon carries him to the bench.

Nancy asks Sydney if Simon is going to be okay. She tells her that he is and thanks her for asking. She also thanks her for the gift certificate and asks if they could go to lunch after the game. Sydney happily says Yes. Andrew then Sydney that he doesn't want her to be friends with Nancy because it's "confusing for me."

Sydney's up, hits the ball, which hits Nancy in the eye. Sydney comes over and apologizes but Nancy calls her a "monster and I even tried to be friends with you even though you went after my boyfriend." Sydney starts denying that but stops and says,"If I can't have him, nobody can." Andrew and Nancy walk away. Simon then volunteers to bat as the EMT tells Sydney that he gave Simon a shot of muscle relaxant. Simon hits the ball into the scoreboard, which sparks and everyone goes wild. But, it's a hallucination. Simon is really running the bases but he didn't hit the ball. We see in Simon's mind, everyone is cheering him. In reality, Simon Shen tries sliding into home but misses.

At the agency, everyone's name on the "Creatives" team is put into a bowl. Gordon then comes and says the game didn't count because Simon was high. They then decide to settle it by having a Pocket Motorcycle race. Then, Gordon and Simon bash into each other and moan.

image: CBS