Phadrah Torelle Interview

INTERVIEW WITH PHADRAH TORELLE FROM TheCelebrityCafe.com ARCHIVES

DM) When did you first discover God in your life?

PT) Anyone who listens to my lyrics will get a fairly clear sense of the role of God in my life. My "discovery" of God has been a life-long process... a "work in progress." I observed from a young age that the world was a real mess. My own early experiences of life were particularly disturbing. People often look at world crises, injustice, poverty, and so on and say, "If there is a God, why does He let so much evil go on in the world?" I grew to understand that most (if not all) of the problems in the world stem directly from people rejecting the infinitely wise ways of God and acting out of their own limited and often distorted guidelines for effective living. I am very much aware of an intelligent force at work in the universe, but I am even more aware of God as the Almighty Creator with whom I can have a personal, intimate relationship. As I face challenges, dramas and difficult decisions in my life, I find God to be the most consistent and unfailing source of wisdom, peace and guidance.

DM) Are there any times your faith lessens? And if so, what do you do in those situations?

PT) Like most people, I have gone through periods in my life when I have experienced doubt and uncertainty about what I believe. The title track of my latest album, "Evidence," recounts a time in my life when I seriously questioned the existence of God, and how my doubts began to dissolve as I saw the indisputable tangible evidence of His existence in the complexities of creation. I find that as time goes on, God proves Himself over and over again. When I begin to feel weak, He becomes my source of strength. When I start to become anxious, He is my peace. When I begin to doubt His truth or reality, I ask that He will reveal Himself to me again, and He does.

DM) How does He reveal himself?

PT) God reveals Himself through the Bible, and it's amazing how often I'll read something that speaks directly to me about a situation I may be facing, and it provides the exact guidance I need to make a decision or to feel at peace about something. The Bible is like a handbook for life, as written by the author of life. Its relevance transcends the time in which it was written, and its principles are timeless and universal.

God also reveals Himself through answered prayer. When I feel that things are beyond my control, I hand the situation over to God, and often I see things resolve in a way that I could never have orchestrated myself... something along the lines of "divine intervention." I don't pray formal, prewritten "formula" prayers, but I speak to God in the same way I would speak to a person I loved and respected. I hear His answer in changed circumstances, amazing provision, newfound clarity on situations, and peace that passes my understanding when I may be facing difficult circumstances.

DM) Do you have passages of the Bible memorized? What would be one of your favorites?

PT) Many verses come to mind, but I can't say that I've memorized too many of them word for word. I try to read the Bible every day, around four chapters, each from a different part of the Bible. It all makes so much more sense when it's read in context, and every day I find something new that speaks directly to my own personal situation. At the moment, my favorite passage is Matthew 6:25-33. Since I've made the decision to serve God full time through music, I haven't had the same sort of regular, predictable income that I had before with a regular job. This passage is a real encouragement to me, because in my situation, it's too easy to start panicking about where your next meal or wardrobe addition is going to come from! This passage explains that God knows our needs, and that when we "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness ... all these things will be given to you as well." The great thing is that I've tested this promise and found it to be true.

DM) Do you regret leaving graduate school to pursue your career in music?

PT) Not at all. After finishing my Bachelor of Education, I withdrew from my Masters degree in American Literature to record my first solo album in 1995. I realized that I could spend five years writing a 75,000-word thesis that would interest only a handful of high-brow academics, or I could redirect my energies into something more creative, more expressive and more accessible--and to a much wider audience. Strangely, I don't see what I'm doing so much as a "career" as I do a "calling." Even as a young child, I knew that I would be a singer/songwriter when I grew up; it was like an innate understanding of what I was created to do and be. I'm not ambitious in the traditional sense, but I'm entirely consumed with the desire to be the person I was created to be, without any sidetrack or deviation, and to live the most productive and meaningful life possible. In some ways, I feel that my life to this point has been an apprenticeship for what I am doing now. Everything I have done in the past has contributed in some way to prepare me for this. It is only now that I am actively pursuing what I was created to do that for the first time in my life, I'm xperiencing true happiness and satisfaction.

DM) You knew all along what path you wanted to follow?

PT) I don't think I ever consciously decided to become a singer/songwriter. What I do is intuitive and as inescapable a process to my existence as breathing. I spent most of my childhood in the back of a car, moving from one place to another, living in more that 40 houses and attending 13 schools. I sang constantly to keep myself sane, singing the same songs over and over to give myself some sort of anchor. Some of my earliest memories are of writing songs that were intrinsically connected to my personal experience: at the age of six, I wrote and performed my first song, "Washing the Car", in a sudsy driveway. It quickly became a hit with the neighbors! Even now, I write as an automatic response to experience. Singing and songwriting are intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, and I offer no resistance to the path my life has taken.

DM) How many of your songs do you work on that never make it to an album?

PT) Songwriting is a very natural process for me, and often when I'm writing, I have no idea whether or not I will go on to record the song. In some ways, I write songs in much the same way that other people keep diaries; the songs I write are often private expressions of (and responses to) what's going on in my daily life. Somehow, most of them eventually wind up being recorded, and it's the most intensely personal songs which seem to have the most impact on listeners. Like most songwriters, I have a filing cabinet full of illegibly scribbled song fragments, and many of these find their way into songs years after the initial scribble.

DM) Do you feel it is difficult to succeed in the music industry with Christian-based lyrics?

PT) Not all of the lyrics I write are explicitly "Christian"--they are accessible to a broad range of listeners because they express my personal response to common human experiences. While many of my songs attempt to grapple with spiritual truths, I make a concerted effort to avoid religious jargon that would alienate listeners that come from different philosophical perspectives. I've actually found that my music has been taken more seriously because of the strength of my convictions and the honesty with which I address particular issues, such as sexuality, abuse, and the confusion the average Christian artist might go out of their way to avoid.

DM) That must take a lot of personal confidence to do that?

PT) By nature, I've always been fairly introverted ... a lot of reviews suggest that the strength of my music is my courage to make myself vulnerable. In some ways, that combination of vulnerability and forthrightness has left me open to criticism from people who wish I were easier to categorize. I guess I have enough confidence not to be crushed by critics who find my music too confronting.

DM) What do you mean by "too confronting"?

PT) There are still some fairly conservative thinkers who feel that Christians shouldn't sing about things like sex and anger. When I hear material by people like Alanis Morrisette and others, I can identify with their music because they're singing about themes based on common human experience and emotion. Christians aren't exempt from these feelings; they need to acknowledge and explore them. I write about them freely, but offer a slightly different perspective. I've also written some fairly graphic material about sexual violence and abuse, and this tends to get the greatest response from my audiences, because so many people can identify with what I'm saying, based on their own tragic personal experiences. I don't candy-coat anything. I've had some amazing opportunities to counsel people one-on-one after they've heard some of my songs. I'd rather make music that genuinely touches people's lives than something that wins a Grammy or Christian Dove Award. Jesus was radical in the way He addressed certain issues, and the religious leaders of His day persecuted Him for that. He was "confronting", but His impact on the lives of those around Him (and for generations to come) was incomprehensibly profound. I don't believe in playing things safe so as not to offend--I'd rather make some kind of impact.

DM) Do you have a secular fan base?

PT) At first, I wasn't sure how mainstream listeners would respond to what I write, given that my material comes from a fairly distinct philosophical standpoint. I remember being interviewed for the first time by a secular DJ on a mainstream radio station and feeling apprehensive about how he might respond. When I arrived to do the interview, he was insistent that "this wasn't music for just Christians - anyone could get into this", and tracks from the album began to appear at high rotation on the regular playlist. The same is true of other stations, and audience feedback from a diverse range of listeners has been similarly supportive.

DM) Have you ever covered secular songs at shows?

PT) I've sung in cover bands for years--restaurants, private functions, etc - so over the course of things, I've covered everyone from ABBA to Alanis Morisette, and I've done every style from jazz and blues to hard rock along the way. When I perform concerts as a solo artist, I generally perform original material only, although I'd have no problem integrating a good cover into the set if I could find the right song (secular or otherwise!). I generally don't make any great distinction between "Christian" music and "secular" music, although some music is explicitly Christian and some is explicitly secular or Satanic (albums recorded by Satanic priests, witches, and so forth). I wouldn't sing songs where the lyric content would be in direct conflict with my personal convictions, but a lot of so-called "secular" music deals with the same sorts of issues that I write about. I find no need to categorize everything I hear or sing. I have a problem with the practice of using labels as the criteria by which to judge the value of a created work. In my opinion, each work should be assessed on its own merit. Sometimes I've heard more spiritual truth in a radio song than I've heard preached in some sermons ...